How to get the reluctant man in your life to join you at the spa

I write this, never having actually achieved this feat myself. But, I’m confident that I can help you do it. Why am I confident? Well I’m pretty sure that the love of my life is an abnormally stubborn male specimen and is not representative of most.

After ten years, my love still pushes my hand away if I pass him my chapstick and tell him he needs a bit. He fights me on every front when it comes to personal maintenance that is beyond the basic showering and shaving routine. I don’t look at “metrosexual” men longingly; there is something about a scruffy boy that I like. But a little spa-ing up wouldn’t hurt.

We went to Thailand for a wedding once and while the entire wedding party went as a group for foot massages, my love decided to walk through the grabby streets of Bangkok instead, and joined us after the fact. I sat there between all the other couples and tried to make the most of it and I missed him the entire time. (As I read this out loud, my love says that I’m not saying the entire story… I am though!) I’ve pleaded and I’ve tried to understand the reasons for his reluctance, but I still don’t really get it.

I wonder if the root cause for this discomfort with the spa experience is that it is marketed mostly to women, with pastel walls and recordings of splashing waves, though that doesn’t really work for me either.

I wonder if they feel their manhood is somehow threatened or if is too tactile of an experience where the lines between therapeutic and sensual, are blurred.

With my love, I think that it is mostly because he is very private. The idea of being touched isn’t something that he is even remotely interested in exploring, (nor does he love being the subject of this piece) unless of course it is by me. Which I suppose is a good thing in some ways.

I had the opportunity to experience one of Sanctuary’s Valentine’s specials—a mini massage and a facial. Even though I criticized my love for not going with me, I did the couple experience alone, yet again.

During the treatment, I was surprised that I found myself unable to completely relax until it was almost halfway done. I am apparently not as comfortable as I vouched to be.

It was hard for me to entirely let go until I got the head massage—probably one of the best things in the world. I finally let myself go with it and I began to enjoy it. I loved the scrubbing and the hot towels and I especially loved how my skin felt after the fact. I kept touching myself. (Not like that!)

At the halfway mark of the whole experience, a plan hatched in my mind—I can do this at home for him and just hook him! I found myself cracking my eyes open in a similar way to how I did it as a kid at my friend’s house during grace or during the meditation part of my very first yoga class, and I tried to see what exactly Irina, the spa therapist was doing that felt so good. I took mental notes of everything, plotting it all out; how I would get him not only comfortable but accustomed to and ultimately yearning for treatments, and maybe, just maybe he’ll finally join me.

After experiencing all of this, and even talking to the spa manager herself, Melisa Mermer, I think I’ve come up with some pretty foolproof tips for you, so here goes:

3 Tips to Help Get Him to the Spa:

1. Book a treatment on a ‘slow’ day: Sundays, Mondays or even Tuesdays will almost guarantee minimal interaction with other spa goers as he disrobes and then ‘robes’
   
2. Book a massage, the gateway drug to spas: According to Melisa, once a man gets a massage, he is pretty much hooked for life. She even said that the same applies to pedicures, but I think I’ll take it one step at a time!
   
3. Offer a preview at home: This is my master plan. Meant for the most stubborn of fellas. Recreate the spa experience at home as much as possible, with hot towels and massage oils. Get him hooked and then pitch getting it actually professionally done.

When I was leaving the spa, I asked whether men come regularly and I was told that even the mailman at the Newmarket location gets periodic pedicures. I mean, if he is manly enough surly your man is too!

Bonne chance ladies!
Jade Williams